THE FIRST WORKOUT - PERMISSION
The Choice To Tell The Truth To Myself - NO MATTER WHAT
- Permissions - The most important part - practice these as often as you can:
- I have a right to feel the way I feel.
- I have a right to think what I think.
- I have a right to believe whatever I believe.
- I have a right to change any belief when it is time for change.
- I can start over again and again and again.
- I will not judge myself harshly for making mistakes in the process.
- I will not judge myself harshly for taking a long time to get it done.
- I do not have to share these thoughts and feelings with anyone.
The process begins with an affirmation that sounds like:
"I allow myself to think exactly what I think and feel exactly what I feel in every moment and in every interaction"
As you begin to think thoughts that may be judgemental or negative, it is easy to become fearful of others' opinions of these thoughts. Or you may be concerned about hurting someone you love. You may even be concerned that these thoughts will take control of you.
These thoughts and feelings are not meant to be shared with anyone else. The intention here is to start where you really are, not somewhere else.
Caution: Beware of the Loop!! Listen to each thought or sequence of thoughts long enough to hear what it is there, and then STOP that sequence. Your goal here is to hear the thought or feeling, not to give it control of you!
This is an ongoing process that requires your full commitment and the willingness to start over again and again and again; to commit again and again and again. It may not be entirely comfortable, but it works!
It may become necessary to seek help in deciphering all this information. If you can find a committed listener or coach, one who will help you work on what you are truly thinking and feeling - not the incident or who is at fault. You may find a Reading or Coaching Session helpful as you begin to learn the process. The "Let's Talk" sessions were designed to teach this process.
I cannot describe how freeing it is to take this on. I have attended many seminars and spent hours in meditation with spiritual guides to move this work forward. I have started over countless times as I have worked through endless issues and automatic responses in my life.
THE SECOND WORKOUT - Clarity
The ability to acknowledge how you truly feel and what you truly think
- To begin to live your life, not someone else's.
- To begin to work through the anger and rage that may be lurking there.
- To begin to stop hiding behind your judgement of others.
- To let go of the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
I have never been able to find the "Right" thought to think and feeling to feel (and, believe me, I have tried!). I know now that there is only how I think and how I feel.
As you bring in more and more of the real you living in today; as you begin to choose who you will be in the world, you will find that confusing thoughts and feelings will clear, your responses will become more authentic. You will find a feeling of confidence and contentment creeping into your life.
Journaling for Clarification - Write or type your thoughts and feelings
I-The Dump - Express exactly what you are thinking and feeling.
- Acknowledge your right to think and feel exactly as you think and feel.
- Keep writing or typing until you feel you have said it all. If it's about a specific incident or person, write about your feelings and thoughts, not what happened or what they did or said.
- Write until you feel quieter and can hear your questions and concerns.
- If you find yourself repeating what you have already written, THEN STOP! Try to listen for what you want to say and really need to know to be able to choose your behavior in the next incident.
- Remember, focus on what you are truly thinking and feeling - not the incident or who is at fault.
II-The Inquiry - This is the beginning of "The Work".
- Why do I think this?
- When did I start to believe this?
- Why do I feel this way?
- Why can't I be the person I want to be?
- Why can't I behave the way I want to?
- Focus on questions about you, or what you need to understand about anothers behavior or words.
- Take your questions into prayer or meditation and asked for guidance.
- Once you know more about what you need to find out, you can choose the process (e.g. Oracle, Workout, Workout Space, Private Session, Workshop etc.) that works best for you.
The Inquiry process is most successful when you do it just before you go to sleep or on a day you have all to yourself. It can be worked over several days or weeks. You will find facets revealing themselves as you work. Let it work in its own time and in its own way.
As I work a process over a few days or weeks, I often wake up with new ideas, sometimes with new questions and sometimes a clear idea of how I want to respond to the situation. I allow the process to work however it needs to work - knowing that in the end, a new wisdom or a way of being will be revealed to me.
You have the power to transform your thinking and responses. You really have no power over the thoughts, feelings and actions of others.
III-Resolution - Try out what you want to do or what you think might work.
- First-listen to what you hear in the words - in your heart.
- As you explore this, feel free to say/write/type exactly what your heart wants to say.
- Leave out the shoulds and should nots.
- Then decide for yourself what is right for you.
- Set a goal to find your way of being (maybe for the first time!)
- Follow your heart. Become the person you really want to be.
This is an ongoing process. It is OK to have it take several sessions or even weeks to work it through.
IV-Thank You - Express your appreciation for the help and guidance you have received.
Your heart will be quieter - Your head will be clearer.
- Write your conclusions.
- Express your gratitude for Guidance in whatever form it comes.
- Find the courage to act in a new way, or use a new approach to an old pattern.
A Final Note: If I have to sort things out alone, I find that it is way too easy to run my thoughts in circles and worry and worry and worry some more. It is also easy to get into a process of judgement of me or them and end up more upset than when I started. I use Journaling For Clarification to help me stop the loops of worry and judgement.
I use Oracles to give me another point of view! I talk to a Committed Listener or Guide for help with my confusing thoughts, behaviors or ways of being. And, finally, after all is said and done, I listen to my heart!
Again, I invite you to walk this path with me. I know you have the courage. If you can begin again and again, if you can commit again and again, you can have the transformation you seek.
The other Workouts, the "Let's Talk Sessions, the Workshops, and the use of Oracles are the tools available here.